Good Communication is the key to the success of many relationships.
“Most couples engage in meaningful conversation less than 15 minutes per week. The problem is not insurmountable, however, as long as we take advantage of multi-tasking,” says Dr. Phil whose show, comes on Family TV every weeknight from 9.30pm
Good conversation can occur while participating in other activities. Talk while taking a walk, when working around the house together, while enduring a television commercial, when conducting family meetings, and while driving together to church, the grocery store, or a movie. Couples intent on quantitative as well as qualitative communication seize every possible moment to talk respectfully with each other.
While effective, respectful talking is essential in good communication, respectful listening is also vital. Bad communication begins with one spouse dominating the conversation, but the listener can also ensure bad communication. Lack of eye contact, negative facial gestures, or disengaged body language also hinders good communication. Great communication is essential to a great relationship.
Therefore improving communication skills is the number one way to improve your relationship. When we are communicating well, we feel close and intimate. When we are not communicating well, we generally do not feel close and intimate.
Watch a couple walking together or in a restaurant talk to each other. Does one spouse dominate the conversation? Does he interrupt his spouse when she tries to get in a few words of self-defence or alternate viewpoint? Does the dominant voice refuse to really listen? If so, this conversation is not a two-way street and is doomed to be at best, poor communication.
Responses like, “That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard; don't you mean to say . . . ?” probe but are incredibly disrespectful. On the other hand, an introductory statement to a question like “Please forgive my inability to keep up with you, but I need to ask a question about what you just said” is both probing and respectful.
Any spouse who learns that his spouse lied about something wonders from then on if the truth is on the table when any issue arises. Tragically, lying brings long-term consequences that most spouses fail to consider before twisting the truth. Honesty, however, is not merely avoiding falsehood. Honesty also means that we refuse to avoid sharing information that our spouse has the right to know and would want to know. Why would we avoid sharing such information? Usually, we either fear judgment from our spouse if we admit our failings, or we fear hurting our spouse's feelings.
Good communication in marriage does not hide, distort, or evade the truth from the other. But honest communication doesn't necessitate cruelty just for the sake of honesty. Respectful honesty is the key phrase.
Remember that -The goal of communication is NOT WIN/LOSE! Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires. James 1:19-20
Catch Dr. Phil as he talks more on relationships and other social issues this and every weeknight from 9.30pm only on Family TV.
